(21)Jeanette Santiago

Hi pervs!

Wow! We are .....21! We can drink now! My favorite drink is Bacardi Spice! It gets me drunk quickly and is very warm and, well, soicy! It works really fast as you get drunk with about 3 or 4 cups. I also love beer, especially if they are the Coors or Budweiser brand.

Talking about getting drunk, something funny happened to me at a Circle K store recently. Now, you know Circle K, the convenience store that appeared on Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure back in 1989? They are majorly famous here in Arizona. Anyways, I went there to get an Orange Diet Coke recently when a 12 or 13 year old girl looked at me and said "drinking beer is bad!" and i looked at her and thought to myself "ooo okayyyyy?" but then I realized something: I was wearing a Bud Light logo t-shirt that I have, which reads "I like beer!" lmao! What was I going to do? I agreed with her, half-lying through my teeth. I told her "you know, you are right! Beer is nasty! I only wear this shirt because I do like the Bud Light logo!" I mean, she is a child and I was not going to encourage her to drink! Truth be told, at that age, I thought beer tasted like pee. I had poured myself a bit during a party when o was about 9 or so, in order to see what the fuss was all about. Back then, I Thought adults were crazy for liking such shitty-tasting liquid! But, even now, I'm not exactly a huge fan of beer either. it's funny because I thought that Net rat was Dutch, so I kept telling him that someday, he'd have to buy me an Amstel, but he is British so a Guinness perhaps? I know Guinness is Irish but it's rather popular in England from what I heard. Anyways, I'm not really a fan of beer that much but I drink it occasionally, and when I do, to paraphrase the "Dos Equis guy", I... .I don't drink Dos Equis...I drink the good tasting Budweiser or the exquisite Coors.

Of course, Net Rat could also buy me and the rest of the Online Spice Girls champagne too, now that we are 21 and on tour.. We love that!

Ok, ok..I forgot..we are not 21 years old but 21 weeks old! Oh darn...

Marveloussssss!!

What is not so marvelous is my dad being in the hospital. He has been having problems lately but had to go to the hospital on Friday afternoon. Dad is 75 now. He was hospitalized with water on his lungs and remains there as I write. He was given medicines and has called twice, and seems to be in good spirits. Since COVID hit, Arizona hospitals do not allow visits to patients unless it's the driver or unless the patient was in their last hour and family came to be with them. So, we have not been able to visit him. In a few hours they will run some tests to see if he can return home within 24 hours or has to stay a couple more days. We are praying and crossing our fingers for the best!

Well, there was another plane crash in the United States recently. On May 22, a small airplane crashed in San Diego, while landing at that city's Montgomery-Gibbs Executive Airport. The airplane, a Cessna 550, crashed into a neighborhood, damaging cars and houses and killing 6 people who were onboard the aircraft. This tragedy touched the lives of many and brought darkness to the world of music, as , among the dead were former Devil Wears Prada band drummer Daniel Williams and music agent Dave Shapiro. The National Transportation Safety Board is investigating the accident. It is too early to tell what happened yet, but it has been said that the air[ort's runway lights were not working and there was heavy fog. Now, I am not a pilot but what little I have actually studied about aviation would tell me that in a cas like that, the pilot should have diverted to another city. But we don't know the situation very well yet. Maybe he was running out of fuel and could not divert? Who knows. Once the details are better known, we will, well....know the details a bit more!

Do you know Vito Spadafora, the gay mafia member from the classic HBO series, The Sopranos? There is a video that surfaced on Youtube, where the actor who played Spadafore, Italian-American Joseph R. Gammascoli, called a radio station for an interview with a pair of college kids who apparently thought they'd become the new Howard Sterns by asking him provoking questions as if he were Spadafore. The questions related to the actor's own sexuality and the fact that the actor uses social media to see autographed items. But the entire thing turned out to be really funny. Gammascoli, rightfully angered, called the kids idiots and told them, sarcastically, that they were going to be real big while wishing them luck. They continued egging him on, and Gammascoli then started using profanity, using the word fuck, and derivates of it, through the interview. "You fucking this, you fucking that.." is how that interview went. Gammascoli was said to have had problems with the show's other actors, and when they had a 20-year cast reunion in 2019, he was either not invited or did not show up. One of his biggest real-life antagonists who also acted in the show, is said to be actor Steve Schttipa, who played Bobby Baccala Jr. in the show. But, regardless of the shenanigans that went or did not go behind the scenes, Gammascoli was completely right in this case. Imagine this: I play a man in a show and go to an interview and get asked if I know how to change a tire or how to fix a toilet-otherwise known in the United States as a shit hole-or, better yet, Net Rat joins me in the CIF ranks and plays a woman in a show and then he gets asked whether he really knows how to bake cakes or "grease the union", as Gammascoli was asked!? It would not be right! But it was actually funny how it all turned. You should really check out the Youtube video.

Somebody told me recently that I resemble Lorraine Bracco, the actress who plays Dr. Jennifer Melfi on the show. I don't know. I resemble many people. Mostly, I resemble myself!

So, recently, I was watching a BSN basketball game on Youtube also, BSN being the Puerto Rican professional basketball league, when I noticed the 36 years-old referee Rebeca Davila, who is the 3rd woman in the league's 96-years history to serve as a referee. I want to fuck her pussy! She is very ho...oooh gash, that is not what I really wanted to talk about! They interrupted the telecast (or, in this case, intercast?) to report that a drunk man had crashed onto a light post at the Northern Puerto Rican city of Arecibo, knocking out the entire city's electrical system! Luckily, he was uninjured, so we can laugh at this! I imagine that when he arrived at the hospital, doctors may have asked him "so you are the moron .whom we need to thank for the darkness in here?" or, better yet, "we need to take you to the x-rays machine, but look at what you did!"..and no, Net rat was reported to be far, far away from Arecibo that day.

Talking about basketball, the NBA and NHL playoffs continue as we speak. In the NHL, its the Carolina Hurricanes and the Florida Panthers in the Eastern Conference Finals as we speak, with the Panthers leading 3 games to 1, and in the Western Conference it's the Edmonton Oilers fighting the Dallas Stars and ,leading that series, 2-1. It looks like there is a good chance that we will see a rematch of last year's NHL finals between the Panthers and the Oilers, a classic won by the Panthers 4 games to 3 but not before fending off a furious comeback by the Oilers, who won games 4, 5, and 6 to force a deciding game 7! Me and fellow online Spice Girl Jill are hoping for an Oilers win since no team from Canada has won the title in more than 30 years!!

As far as the NBA playoffs, whoever wins the championship will win for the first time since at least 1979, if not for the first time ever! We have, in the Eastern Conference finals, the Indiana Pacers, who never won a title, leading my dad's New York Knicks, who last won in 1973, 2 games to 1 as we speak, with Game four set to be played tonight. Out west, the Oklahoma City Thunder, whose last title was in 1979 as the Seattle sonics, lead the Minnesota Timberwolves, who have never won a title, 3 games to 1. Oklahoma City itself has never won an NBA title, while the city of Minneapolis, where the Timberwolves play, has seen a lot of naked people having sex and threesome...err..I mean, has NOT seen the ticker parade celebrating an NBA title since the 1950s.

Marvelouuuussss!

I don't know if you noticed (you probably did not) but last time I posted this column, I did not say marvelous one single time by pure accident. So let's say it many times today: marvelous, marvelous, marvelous, marvelous, marvelous marvelous!!

It looks now like dad is being released from the hospital today or tomorrow. Marvelous!

I am still in a lesbian fan-love thing with Australian transgender actress Gergie Stone, just like many of you are in love with my transbian ass. And I do love you all, my online fans! Marvelous!

And God loves you and I want to thank you all for the prayers for my dad! Net Rat and the rest of the online Spice Girl who keep on tour and have sold out Wembley and the Madison Square Garden and the Luna Park in Buenos Aires and Estadio Azteca and your momma's house love you too!

See you next week, pervs!!